Motel 6, Grants, New Mexico

I had takeout at Lottaburger. I had the "Itsa" burger. The "Lotta" burger seemed like too much for my Indian belly, not being used to eating cow in such a large quantity.

It's always interesting to think of doing a retrospective. It's like writing your own eulogy. How should I begin?

He was a generous person. He liked having dinner with friends and was always willing to go dancing at a moment’s notice. He made several short videos. He showed them at various galleries and festivals in Canada the USA, and Europe. He worked as a graphic designer, before chucking it all in just when the business was taking off. Most of the time he drank in moderation.

He was a reluctant father. Yet he couldn't believe how moved he could be at the sight of his children. And even though the incredible shock of having twins changed his life more than any other event, he still wondered if he could, by some force of will, begin making work that functioned on a purely formal level, or one that directly addressed the history of art itself. He tried to imagine himself as an architect. I mean you can’t say that an architect’s work reflects his relationship to his wife, or can you? Could one stand in such a building? Would it keep the rain off your head? Would your valuables be safe?

Of course what’s missing in a retrospective is all the failed projects, the sketches, the abandoned writing and the doubts. You have to die and be famous before they dig all that stuff up.

Sometimes I feel that my work is a pale comparison to the activity leading up to its creation. The work shines in my head, it’s brilliant, astounding. Yet each successive stage leading up to its creation is a disappointment. Can I use this as part of my work? I want the work to be as rich as this experience. I want my work to include everything. I want the work to be as complex as the way I experience the world.

No, wait, that's not it. I want the work to be about an essence, a careful boiling down of experience, a stripping away of all that isn't necessary. I want to articulate the complex as a mathematician would with a short equation. I want something simple yet elegant.